Moving into the Light

"The boss drives people; the leader coaches them. 

The boss depends on authority; the leader on good will. 

The boss inspires fear; the leader inspires enthusiasm. 

The boss says I; The leader says WE. 

The boss fixes the blame for the breakdown; the leader fixes the breakdown. 

The boss says, GO; the leader says Lets GO! "

 - H. Gordon Selfridge

Enthusiasm, passion, is the sixth rule for The Art of the Possible. It’s about spreading that spark of possibility to others through your own passion. It’s also called enrollment, and is core to the concept of generating possibility. One of my mentors always told me to, “help others find their project in your project” and I’ve always worked toward that advice. The active ingredient in the formula for creating better possibilities is the fire of passion BUT the best way to extinguish that flame is with fear.

So what do you do if you find yourself entrenched in a culture that breeds fear?

How do you practice enrollment where people will see you as a willing participant for whatever ideation arises without feeling like they are being pressured into seeing things your way, or fighting with them to do what you want them to do? A company's worst enemy is not always the competition. Most of the time it's the fear that lives within its own walls. When leadership is not transparent and peoples’ basic needs are being threatened, fear, anxiety, impatience, and agitation are the behaviors that ensue. Basic psychology tells us that fear is a vicious cycle that starts with worrying thoughts, then moves to anxious feelings, then to fearful emotions and back to worry and so on. How can passion survive in the midst of this storm?

It can’t.  The cycle of fear has to be broken first. The feelings of anxiety and fear are inevitable consequences and nothing can change those, but the one thing you can control is… the worrying thoughts that create those feelings.  

Thich Hnat Hanh says to lean into the pointy edge of the sword.  You have to move through the pain and the fear to get to the other side.  When you ‘feel the fear’ but take action, you then find that fear and anxiety will vanish. You start with the one thing you can control; your thoughts – worry. 

There is a simple assessment tool that you can use which my coach teaches.  It’s the human emotions-needs assessment.  Worry or anxiety is often coupled with other basic emotions.  Mindfulness will help you identify those emotions and once you’ve done that you must align that with the basic list of human needs that are not being met. 

You then can advocate for your needs as part of your journey through painful emotion.  You can also reframe your thoughts. Once you reframe your thoughts about a particular situation, you will experience more realistic emotions about it.  And, if you discover that the source of worry or anxiety doesn’t lie within your sphere of influence or really isn’t relevant then you can work to eliminate them.  Dr. Joe Dispenza, from Create Your Day, tells people to simply focus your awareness on that fearful thought and say, “change.”   But, find a positive word that works for you.  That word acts a reference point for awareness and allows you to redirect your focus. This again is another example of mindfulness and about being in the now. In the Now, there are no unpleasant feelings.

This act of self-love or self-generosity breaks the fear cycle and enables you to create a spark. With this spark, you will generate enrollment or passion. The first step is to present yourself as a willing participant in a greater vision.  Making a passionate offer comes next, followed by the belief that other people are just as excited about the possibility as you are and embrace the first follower as an equal. Derek Sivers talks about ‘Starting a Movement’ in his three minute TED Talk which I mentioned in my last blog.  It is included here:

… First, of course you know, a leader needs the guts to stand out and be ridiculed. But what he’s doing is so easy to follow. So here’s his first follower with a crucial role; he’s going to show everyone else how to follow. Now, notice that the leader embraces him as an equal. So, now it’s not about the leader anymore; it’s about them, plural. Now, there he is calling to his friends. Now, if you notice that the first follower is actually an underestimated form of leadership in itself. It takes guts to stand out like that. The first follower is what transforms a lone nut into a leader.

…And here comes a second follower. Now it’s not a lone nut, it’s not two nuts — three is a crowd, and a crowd is news. So a movement must be public. It’s important to show, not just to the leader, but the followers, because you find that new followers emulate the followers, not the leader.

Now, here come two more people, and immediately after, three more people.
Now we’ve got momentum. This is the tipping point. Now we’ve got a movement.  So, notice that, as more people join in, it’s less risky. So those that were sitting on the fence before, now have no reason not to. They won’t stand out, they won’t be ridiculed, but they will be part of the in-crowd if they hurry. So, over the next minute, you’ll see all of those that prefer to stick with the crowd because eventually they would be ridiculed for not joining in. And that’s how you make a movement.

But let’s recap some lessons from this. So first, if you are the type, like the shirtless dancing guy that is standing alone, remember the importance of nurturing your first few followers as equals so it’s clearly about the movement, not you. Okay, but we might have missed the real lesson here. The biggest lesson, if you noticed — did you catch it? — is that leadership is over-glorified. That, yes, it was the shirtless guy who was first, and he’ll get all the credit, but it was really the first follower that transformed the lone nut into a leader. 

So, as we’re told that we should all be leaders, that would be really ineffective. If you really care about starting a movement, have the courage to follow and show others how to follow. And when you find a lone nut doing something great, have the guts to be the first one to stand up and join in.”

By aligning your interests with those of others under a grander umbrella vision, you will enroll other people into your passion and generate that spark and momentum, you can capture the power of possibility and create stronger relationships along the way.  There’s a song by Peter Gabriel that I like to quote that summarizes this entire blog into five simple lines:

 

Universe of Possibility

Fourteen Black Paintings

From the pain come the dream
From the dream come the vision
From the vision come the people
From the people come the power
From this power come the change

Becoming Concertmasters

Leading and Following

When I was 8 years old, my Saturday mornings were spent with my violin teacher. How she scared me with her judging stare and her powerful gold, silver, and bronze stars. The only thing worse could have been getting one of the terrible blue, green or red stars. She’d whack the back of my back of my hand when I loosened my grip and wasn’t in the open position at the frog of my violin or if my elbow hasn’t held out just so.  Who likes to practice when you’re that young, especially facing such judgment of your ability?  I was always trying to skip out of practice.  I didn’t want to be just another performer in the orchestra.

In 1968, there were only seven television stations to watch on our little 13 inch wide black and white television. So, riding your bike, or skateboard, or playing outside until dark was what you loved most. Still, before I could head outside, homework and practice came first.  It took a while but, eventually practice paid off. When in eighth grade I finally fought my way to win First Chair, First Violin; I understood then. 

Everyone knows who owns the most significant role in an orchestra; the conductor does.  But did you know that the first chair, first violinist is the next most important? They are the Concertmaster and sit to the immediate left of the conductor, closest to the audience. 

The Concertmaster makes decisions regarding bowing and other technical details, leads the orchestra in tuning before concerts and rehearsals and sets the tempo instructed by the conductor.  Leading the tuning is not just a mere formality; if the concertmaster believes that a section is not adequately tuned, he or she will signal to the oboe player to play another "A". 

The Concertmaster is the first follower and being that “a first follower is an under-appreciated form of leadership.”  “… It is the first follower that transforms a lone nut into a leader. There is no movement without the first follower. We're told we all need to be leaders, but that would be really ineffective if that were so. The best way to create a movement, if you really care, is to courageously follow and show others how to follow,” according to Derek Sivers.  The first follower is the next example of Zander’s principles of the art of the possible; leading from any chair.

The principle of ‘leading from any chair’ is about shared leadership. As Albert Einstein had said, “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds” and in today’s organizations, mediocrity reigns.  With uncertainty, the fight for power and  changing times, we find such chaotic and oblique interaction that no one person really knows what is going on.  In this environment especially, success depends upon everyone playing their part, taking on a leadership role  (or showing how to follow) to lead from any chair in the organization when it’s required. This calls for courage and requires everyone to be involved and feel that they can make meaningful contributions no matter what their role might be.

Often we hear  about ‘open door’ policies within corporations but when it gets down to the nuts and bolts during troubling times, those doors don’t appear to be so open. So how do you find your courage to show others to follow? Here are some suggestions for creating a culture where everyone feels a sense of ownership, empowerment and ability to make a difference.  The three main areas are: 

• Clear and open communication
• Alignment with goals
• Having a reward structure that encourages action

  

Do people know how their role fits in with key business strategies? Can you demonstrate how yours do? Is your company encouraging people to seek out and lead from wherever they are positioned in the organization? If not, they’re missing a great opportunity to improve innovation, performance, and passion.  Create a support structure, a Community of Practice that gives people a voice and an opportunity to contribute.

No matter where we sit in the organization, we all have an opportunity to contribute in meaningful ways. Creating a peer-based support system might be a good first choice reward structure to encourage action. If your management doesn’t outright support these principles, perhaps the people must step up and voice them.  One of my mentors would say to me, “Sometimes you have to subvert the system, to make the system work.”  This is the call for courage and leadership.  Warren Bennis has said, 

Leading in the Light of Day

“The manager administers;
the leader innovates.

The manager is a copy;
the leader is an original.

The manager maintains;
the leader develops.

The manager focuses on systems and structure;
the leader focuses on people.

The manager relies on control;
the leader inspires trust.

The manager has a short-range view;
the leader has a long-range perspective.

The manager asks how and when;
the leader asks what and why.

Managers have their eyes on the bottom line;
leaders have their eyes on the horizon.

The manager imitates;
the leader originates.

The manager accepts the status quo;
the leader challenges it.

The manager is the classic good soldier;
the leader is his own person.

The manager does things right;
the leader does the right thing.”

You don't have to conduct the symphony.  Take a small step. You can tune the orchestra and everyone still benefits.

Just One Good Thing

The Northern Lights

Many of you might already know the fable of the chicken and the pig.  It is used much in the corporate world and team building exercises. Dispel any previous exposure to it for a moment.  Let’s look at it differently.

Once Upon a Time... there was a chicken and a pig that lived on a farm. The farmer was very good to them and they both wanted to do something good for him.

One day the chicken approached the pig and said, "I have a great idea for something we can do for the farmer! Would you like to help?"

The pig, quite intrigued by this, said, "of course! What is it that you propose?"

The chicken knew that the farmer enjoyed a hearty breakfast and had little time to make one. 

"I think the farmer would be very happy if we made him breakfast,” said the chicken. 

The pig thought about this. While not as close to the farmer, he too knew of the farmer's love for a good breakfast. "I'd be happy to help but what do you suggest?"

The chicken suggested, "I could provide some eggs."

The pig knew the farmer might want more, "That's a fine start. What else should we make?"

The chicken looked around...scratched his head...then said, "ham? The farmer loves ham and eggs!"

The pig, very mindful of what this implied, said, "that's fine, but while you're making a contribution, I am the contribution.”

This is the basis of the fourth principle in The Art of Possibility, being a contribution. Unlike giving a contribution, being one requires a personal investment.  And unlike most things in life that have their two sides, being a contribution has no other side.  It stands alone. You are being a gift to others and jumping into your life, making a difference. Focus on seeing yourself and others as a contribution to move out of the world of measurement where scarcity, goals, competition, time exist. This is the intention of this principle.

Trying to focus on being a contribution, and staying positive, during tumultuous times is really difficult.  We all want to keep the energy around us pleasantly flowing and not allow negativity to infect our present moment.  That negativity usually comes from things outside our sphere of influence and manifests itself as fear and the loss of control and keeps us in the world of measurement. 

These are future moment thoughts and illusions that will infect our peace of mind.  We are all capable of finding ourselves in this position.  One late evening panic rose in me as I allowed upcoming uncertainly and events to enter my present moment. Knowing that my sister had faced similar crises, I phoned her. She helped me to organize my thoughts.  Her advice was so helpful to me that it continues to grow upon itself today.  She said, “Just do ONE good thing a day.”

The amazing thing about this is, when you start by ‘doing’ one good thing a day, you lighten the energy field around you. You shift the frequency in which you operate within.  Things start to change.  At first subtle, it grows. Things begin to come back to you in interesting, unexpected and unique ways.  Possibility opens up again. And, your focus changed.  Like the contagion of smiling, others around you do the same.

Thích Nhất Hạnh says, “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”  As such, the ‘doing’ becomes the source of your joy and other things bloom. The process nurtures you.  One thing builds into another and another until finally you discover that you are ‘being’ that one good thing a day.   You are being a contribution and nothing can feel any better. 

樸 Starting with an 'A'

Zion National Park

樸                  My favorite principle for creating possibility of the Zanders’ is the practice of ‘giving an A.’ Imagine a classroom, a community, a family, a workplace where everyday you were given an A and you gave others the same.  What potential would awaken?  What collaboration could be attained?  What possibilities would evolve? Imagine a place where we all worked together to bring out the best in each other; to discover the gem hidden inside, that special piece of the divine. 

This is the essence of P’u  (pronounced Poo) and means the uncarved block. In Taoism it is naturalness or the "primordial state" of all things,  the source for all spontaneity and creativity.  It is all potential, all possibility. To attain P’u one must free themselves from selfishness and desire, and appreciate simplicity.   This concept is the central theme for another book I love, The Tao of Pooh where this ‘bear of little brain’ is P’u. 

To quote the Zanders’, “Michelangelo is often quoted as having said that inside every block of stone or marble dwells a beautiful statue; one need only remove the excess material to reveal the work of art within. If we were to apply this visionary concept to education, it would be pointless to compare one child to another. Instead, all the energy would be focused on chipping away at the stone, getting rid of whatever is in the way of each child’s developing skills, mastery, and self-expression.

We call this practice giving an A. It is an enlivening way of approaching people that promises to transform you as well as them. It is a shift in attitude that makes it possible for you to speak freely about your own thoughts and feelings while, at the same time, you support others to be all they dream of being. The practice of giving an A transports your relationships from the world of measurement into the universe of possibility.” 

I have always called ‘giving an A’, generosity of heart.  And, in order to be generous to others, you must be generous to yourself first.  If you have no room to be generous to yourself, you have nothing to extend to others.  This is where the practice of loving-kindness comes in.  The Dalai Lama says, “We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves” and that starts with loving-kindness today.  Since today is all we have...

... Today, you have an A.  

I wonder what will bloom?

Completely Now

The Path

The Art of the Possible

Once we realize that ‘it is all invented’, imagined and our thoughts, emotions create our present moment and our reality, you can then step into the realm of the possible; the quantum probability cloud of potential.  Though some people think that creating your reality is new-age nonsense, it is still very true that we can create new possibilities by eliminating our limiting beliefs.  When you remove limiting beliefs, you change your behavior, thoughts, feelings and that actually changes the reality you live in and possibility opens up for you.  It was always there, but now you can see it. Rather than limiting your view in a world of measurement toward a goal, you set a context and let life unfold across the many opportunities.

The possibilities that exist in your reality are defined by your beliefs. When you say something is impossible it will actually become impossible for you. If you believe Life is difficult, Everything is a mess, you will experience things not going the way you wanted them to go because that is where you are focusing your attention.  In fact, psychologist Ellen Langer’s early study in 1959 with elderly men placed in a nostalgic setting has shown that fixed ideas, internalized in childhood, can even affect the way we age!  “Wherever you put the mind, the body will follow,” she said.  And, “At the end of the study, I was playing football—touch, but still football—with these men, some of whom gave up their canes” … “It is not our physical state that limits us,” she explains—it is our mindset about our own limits, our perceptions, that draws the lines in the sand for us.

While learning how to race motorcycles at Superbike School they would say to look to where you want to go; look for the exit of the turn.  If you look at that pothole or tar snake, you will surely hit it.  In fact, I like to use what I call the Driver’s Training School approach to life including “aim high in steering” and “get the big picture” You open up the realm of possibility by aiming high and seeing the big picture.  You enable choice and are also more likely to hit the target you desire as it comes into your present moment.  Keeping your eyes moving allows you to maneuver the changes in the road and generate more possibility.  While ‘making sure they know you’re there’ and ‘having an out’ avoids collision.  You raise your awareness and focus on things as they enter your present moment; mindfully.

Genuinely giving your attention to the present moment, authentically with gratitude raises  joyfulness.  Remaining mindful, centered, and harmonious to whatever challenges you are presented will enable you to peacefully coexist with the change of time. The better you manage your mind and spirit, the less of a hold will the passing of time have on you. “Every moment can be lived fully, free and unconditionally, and every moment holds infinite possibilities and opportunities for a fresh start.”  This heightened awareness, or consciousness is what Lama Surya Das calls Buddha Standard Time—the dimension of timeless time, wholly and completely now.

Opening Doors

Anicca, or the law of impermanence, tells us that nothing remains the same.  Everything is constantly changing.  You can’t step into the same river twice.  This is the very core of Buddhist belief.  To "see things as they really are" means, seeing them consistently in the light of three characteristics:

• Impermanence or Change (anicca)
• The Existence of Suffering or Unsatisfactoriness (dukkha)
• Not-self or Insubstantiality (anattaa)
  

Ignorance or self-deception of these three principles is cause for suffering, frustration, disappointment, and despair. Two old Brazilian sayings told to me growing up; “Life is relentless” and “everything is as it should be.”  So why, if we instinctively know this, why do we cause ourselves to suffer over change?  How can we turn change into the art of possibility and opening doors?  They say that when one door closes, another opens.  What about opening many doors at once and creating possibilities?  They are already out there in the quantum field around you.  Why not open your mind?

The Zander’s wrote a marvelous book in 2000 called, The Art of Possibility.  They called it ‘a book of practices.’  I like that.  It fits in with the concept of a daily practice and resonates mindfulness. After reading the book, I bought several copies and handed it out to my supervisors and leaders at work; the ones that I really cared about and wanted their success.  I wanted them to gain the insight of these practices and hoped to influence them to adopt them in our environment.  I don’t know if that was successful, but I was opening a door and that is always good. Today, I’m sharing the first principle.

"It's all invented anyway"

As my dad says, “All the gifts have already been given.”  We just have to open up to receive them.  So if we invent, create our stories then why not invent a story of meaning that enhances our quality of life and the life of those around us. Our thoughts, the framework our minds, create, define and bind us to what we perceive to be possible. Every problem, every dilemma, every dead end we find ourselves facing in life, only appears insurmountable, frightening, and maybe paralyzing inside that same point of view and framework that we create for ourselves. 

“You must get out of your cubicle to get out of the box.”   Ask for someone else’s perspective to help you see the doors or the change you face from a different angle.  A wise friend of mine provided me with this advice.  My story was that I felt like management at the time was trying to force me into a box to be someone I wasn’t and that was something untenable to me.  So, I shared this and asked, “What do I do?”  His response was, “Be the box, Maysa.  Be the box.”   What a marvelous way to reframe the situation.  You can’t be in the box, if you are the box.   

Win – win for all.

Watch the assumptions you make.  You might not even be conscious of them. Be mindful of what you create in your thoughts.  Your mind creates your reality.  What might I now create today? What haven't yet created that would give me other choices?  What possibilities lie ahead? I watched Gravity last night and what a powerful message about moving through suffering and loss, opening up and embracing acceptance and rebirth.  “You have to learn to let go” in order to embrace the new. Accept the possibilities.