Being Human Rather Than Doing Human

I saw this today:

"Everything changes once we identify with being the witness to the story, instead of the actor."

...and it brought me back to myself. Much like the waves of energy that constitute everything in existence across galaxies, time and space, so do we slip into and out of the illusions we create for ourselves. It's easy to fall asleep in your life, start to feel separated from your true self and believe the stories all around you.  We know The Four Agreements but we relearn them all the time.

For many people I know right now, they are receiving their final performance evaluations for ALL of the previous year's work.  If I were back at the office instead of out on leave,  I would be too. These evaluations affect your bonus' and your salary increases and thus your perceived financial quality of life. So you place great value on them, wrongly. No matter what story you have for how you performed, others will have a different one, and sometimes it can seem like that perspective is from another planet.  And, it is. Trapped within these bodies, we all come to the table with our different perspective and that is our personal truth. Here's where mindfulness comes in. Your thoughts create your truth.  So be mindful and choose your thoughts carefully. Dr. Joe Dispenza tells us to say, "Change", to those thoughts that don't serve you and create yourself anew.

Thich Nhat Hanh said, "Each one of us has to ask ourselves, What do I really want? Do I really want to be Number One? Or do I want to be happy? If you want success, you may sacrifice your happiness for it. You can become a victim of success, but you can never become a victim of happiness."

Trying to remain a human being is hard work.  It takes practice.  Mindfulness can help you by raising your awareness and providing you with the opportunity to focus on the moment between stimulus and response thus capturing intention and setting it accordingly.  Old Brazilian Wise Saying (from my mother), "If you don't know what to do, do nothing."  Just be with it for a while.

You can change your mind.


For more about mindfulness and loving-kindness meditation, contact us at mmPowered. 
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Here's a summary of Jon Kabat-Zinn's seven principles of mindfulness from his book, Full Catastrophe Living:

• Patience - “To be patient is simply to be completely in each moment, accepting it in its fullness” and bring your mind back to your body
• Non-judging - When it comes to your thoughts, “judgements of mind tend to dominate our minds and make it hard for us ever to find any peace” so just recognize, become awake of those thoughts, identify them with a label
• The Beginner's Mind - “Too often we let our thinking and our beliefs about what we ‘know’ prevent us from seeing things as they really are” and the Beginner's Mind tells us to remain open, empty and available to the many possibilities out there 
• Acceptance - “You have to accept yourself as you are, before you can really change” and you are divine love
• Non-striving - “Almost everything we do, we do for a purpose, to get something or somewhere" but in mindfulness practice there is no where and no thing to do, just be with yourself
• Trust - Learning to trust your own personal experience, feelings and intuition — freeing yourself from the tyranny of authority, the stories of others and ourselves with our own inner judge
• Letting go - “Cultivating the attitude of letting go, or non-attachment, is fundamental to the practice of mindfulness” and that refers to letting go of the pleasant and the harsh; just breathe

Namaste.

Lanterns and Landmarks

Recently, I attended Chinese New Year at Fountain Hills Park.  It was a beautiful cool evening in the upper 60's in the heart of the valley where Phoenix and Scottsdale lie.  Music and performers were sharing their song, dance and traditions on the center stage as the moon rose. On the hour, the fountain roars in the background for fifteen minutes rising up almost 600 feet in the air, stretching outward to touch the stars. Dragons, fish, birds and scenes lined the walk; lanterns lighting the way.  

This is the year of the horse. The horse is one of the Chinese favorite animals, providing good, quick transportation for people helping them get to their destination. It is a symbol of traveling, but also a sign of speedy success, freedom, passion and leadership. Since the horse is a social animal and also a fire element, symbolizing red, it is also connected to love.  The ox works the farm but the horse helps humans to win battles. 

Chinese tradition says that this is a time for celebrating the new year but also a time for honoring your ancestors, parents and grandparents. Images of important ancestors illuminate the scene.  It gives you time to pause and recognize your own ancestry, your own diversity and reflect on the wonder and value of our greater human diversity.  The mystery of our DNA tells us that the great apes: chimpanzees, orangutans and gorillas are our closest relative. About 98% of the DNA in your genes is exactly the same as in chimpanzees, making you as closely related to a chimp as horses are to zebras; yet look at the diversity, look at the wonder.  Wouldn't it BE wonderful if we could truly celebrate that diversity, honor it as we honor our ancestors and our history?

I've been trying to rise up the corporate ladder at my day job for years now.  This is a great company that has been awarded for its diversity and openness; ranked 124 in the Top Fortune 500. But, I'm not a 'typical' engineer.  I'm part of the diversity: a woman, a Latina, an extrovert, a right-brain thinker, emotional, an ENFP on the Myers-Briggs; I seek out relationship building, finding value in each other's human potential and building on it. Results happen when you have established strong professional relationships. I follow my own leadership principles, embodying the Athena Leadership Model. 

Recently, I sought out some career advise regarding upward mobility into program management. I listened carefully as I was provided some stern feedback regarding the limiting factors I faced to achieve the mobility results that I thought I wanted.  Months later, I still think about that leader's opinion. In order to get into higher levels of management it would be necessary for me to modify my personality to display different behaviors. That would require two things; one that I listen more and two that I learn how "to put on my Monday Go To Work Face."  This leader spent significant time describing what the meant and I appreciate that he took the time.  It was very valuable advise but...  I reject it.  

You see, my number one most important value and leadership principle is authenticity; being genuine, true to myself.  I appreciate that the company requires a Monday Face for its upper leadership but that's not me.  If I can't come to work in the skin that I come with, then that's not the job for me. So I've made the decision NOT to seek advancement; after all, you can be a leader from any position and not need to compromise yours principles to do so.  This is a landmark decision.  It will change the face of what's to come. As for the number one limiting factor, listening; "What does 'listening' looks like?"  If it means that you do what you're told, then it might not look like I was listening.   

Celebrating and honoring our ancestors, our diversity and our uniqueness sometimes means having courage and making tough choices like no longer seeking leadership advancement in a particular corporation; like standing ground on diversity principles, knowing that it is in our uniqueness that innovation, creation, and growth occur.  As the lanterns that lit the way in the park, there are many other ways to shine.  In this year of the horse, may we all get to our destination, may success come speedy with freedom, passion and new ways of leadership.

To quote a Chinese Proverb:   "I heard" is good; "I saw" is better.

Greeting from the Year of the Horse:

"Success is on its way"
马到成功 Mǎdàochénggōng