Cleaning House

I have found myself in such a state of endless 'things to do' - between the children, the new husband, parents, siblings, work and all the politics there, community outreach, adovacy, volunteering for one thing or another... I kept busy.  There was always something else to do. The list grew even as items were checked off.  In the lull of a moment, I might even seek out other 'things to do' to fill that space.  I was overloaded, anxious, irritable and fighting the current, keeping busy as a diversion.

Oh sure, intellectually I could see what needed to be done, but the gap between mind and heart was too far to jump.  What if I fell, failing to reach the other side?  "There's no help for me," I thought.  It kept me stuck.

It was the simple act of agreeing and beginning to clean house and simplify my world that was the turning point.  So I agreed to my coach that I would clean a room a week, 13 rooms that would take me to Christmas to lean out. I started with an easy one: my bathroom.

It's amazing how sometimes after taking that tiny first step, other things can happen.  That gap closes and things become possible.  Getting rid of some things, created room for others. Curious replacements like, a weekend free of worry, a smile, a new possibility, a new hope, and songs with the wind in your hair.  I can't wait to see what opportunities arise after I clean and simplify the gargage. 

The Zen Buddhists have a story:
Two Buddhist monks were walking along a path when they came to a shallow, muddy river. A woman in a beautiful dress waited there, not wishing to cross for fear of ruining her beautiful dress. One of the monks lifted her onto his shoulders – something that he was absolutely not supposed to do – and carried her to the other side, where he set her down (dress intact) and proceeded along the path with his fellow monk. After a few hours, the second monk, unable to continue keeping quiet about what he understood as a violation of the code by which they lived, asked his companion, “Why did you pick that woman up and carry her across the river?” The first monk replied, “Are you still carrying her? I put her down hours ago.”

Letting go is another way of cleaning house.  It makes room for other things.